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i'm still a bit confused

about my current life's situation... why is it that i keep messing up romance when it comes my way? even when i get someone to look my way it turns again to going right back to "i don't think we should do this, it's not you, you are probably the one person i should be with" why not be with me, at least while i'm still here, we could make it work...

...her feelings are what's important..

intro from the year to the year and of the year

hello to the back of my mind goodbye to sadness and sanity.
I've been reading a lot since i've been here in Montana... actually i've been doing a lot since i've been back hear, i'm tearing through a good book series, i'm the head winkie for the wizard of oz, i'm learning to play the fiddle, heck, i'm in three choirs and a music theory class, and above all, i'm a senior! final year, damn, not the most comforting thing to know that soon i will be mor alone than i would like, in a college, having to pay my own bills and figure out what to do with the rest of my life. this is going to be very interesting... though i am in love with this wonderful girl that loves me back, though, she is in washington and a year behind me in school. oh well, i'm less depressed than i've have been in a long time. This will be a good year, or else.

this life is back at me again tearing love from me leaving me alone in the dark with nothing but pain and hope and angst and numb releif.... i am a pirate that is the style of life i would like to deem me the honor, as it is a paradox as truth is, but the romance for life and the pretty things to come by i may now give myself to all of lifes urges and wants and needs and even studys... humans themselves seem a paradox but as is i would rather not write why it is much a depressing matter...

i know pain more compassionatly and deeply than some but of course less than other so i know abit about healing and hurting but i will not write of that either night nights for nows

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I am all that I need to be yet not complete. I am hate and malice and greed. Yet I am also love, forgivness and passion and honor. My heart has felt the daggers of scorn and lost love and it has healed stronger than before, it stands now in a mass of scars and it still beats. I am what is to come of this place and all shall shudder in my presence. <style>.hov:hover{background-color:yellow}</style><div id='Title' style='font:bold 11px verdana'><h1 style='font:bold 13px;display:inline'>Watch Video:</h1><a class='hov' style='display:block;width:300px;border:solid 2px black;padding:5px' href="http://www.videocodezone.com/videos/f/flogging_molly/whats_left_of_the_flag.html" target='_blank'>WHAT'S LEFT OF THE FLAG (Flogging Molly)<p><embed name='RAOCXplayer' src='http://www.videocodezone.com/videos/f/flogging_molly/whats_left_of_the_flag_337826.asx' type='application/x-mplayer2' width='300' height='300' autoplay='true' ShowControls='1' ShowStatusBar='0' loop='true' EnableContextMenu